Divorce

Divorce

Divorce , even in the 21st century , is considered to be taboo and looked down upon  in India.

People [ read MEN ] have got the tendency to look down upon a divorced woman and given the choice, would have nothing to do with them [unless they are interested to offer their shoulder for them to cry on, albeit with a carnal interest- which happens- more often than not ] .I am of the firm opinion that men, go for divorce, with minimum thought- say at the spur of the moment, while women dither from it or try to postpone the inevitable, till the last.

Lets get down to brass tacks

 .Special Marriage Act was passed in 1954 in India,It has its origins in the British act . It is an inter-religious marriage law permitting Indian nationals to marry and divorce irrespective of their religion or faith. The Hindu Marriage Act, passed in 1955  legally permitted divorce to Hindus and other communities who chose to marry under these acts. The Indian Divorce Act 1869 ^[91] is the law relating to the divorce of person professing the Christian religion. Divorce can be sought by a husband or wife on grounds including adultery, cruelty, desertion for two years, religious conversion, mental abnormality, venereal disease, and leprosy. Divorce is also available based on mutual consent of both the spouses, which can be filed after at least one year of separated living. Mutual consent divorce can not be appealed, and the law mandates a minimum period of six months (from the time divorce is applied for) for divorce to be granted. While a Muslim husband can unilaterally bring an end to the marriage by pronouncing talaq, Muslim women need to go to court, claiming any of the grounds provided under the Dissolution of Muslim Marriage Act .

This is the legality of the divorce.as is published in the Marriage Acts.

However divorce , destroys not only the persons involved but also the surrounding social fabric. At the moment according to statistics divorces in India are about 1 %. But that may be just the figures of couples who have legally separated . 

Their are far more couples who are staying together- despite nothing existing between them- for the sake of children- social stigma , parental pressure etc. etc.

Th more the people become economically independent - he more their egos clash.Why me- is the uppermost thing on their mind and that gives an impetus to clash at the first opportunity.

There have been many commentaries on this phenomenon, including movies pertaining to this subject, in many languages. They have superficially dealt with the issue - be it Kramer vs Kramer or Chachi 420 [ a remake of the English movie Mrs. Doubtfire ] . But none have been able to address the issue to the core or been able to exploit the emotional upheaval caused by this traumatic episode.

It is pointless to go into the reasons of the divorce, as each side will have its own views , which will be emphatically put forward. And nothing can be achieved by giving statistics and examples.

Wonder why love marriages end in divorce within no time of the consummation of marriage.

May be as already said many times- the two parties involved during the courtship- offer their best side and most endearingly understanding behaviour, during the courtship. Probably because the meeting time is too short to form opinions about each other. However after marriage, when they stay together for 24 x 7, then the chinks in the armour become visible and thus pose a great threat to the egos.

Is the modern era responsible for our thinking- the availability of choices- may perhaps be making us more choosy. Difficult to sit in judgement, when such emotional issues are concern, as hearing both sides- one finds it difficult to do so.

A very complex issue, which none can deal with and should never have to.

Dilip Apte

November 18 , 2014